The 12 Days of Christmas .... a legal problem ?
Dear Sir,
With this letteryou will have had served on you an injunction preventing you from contacting ourclient.
Our client wastouched to receive a partridge in a pear tree from you. She was amused when afurther partridge together with two turtle doves appeared. She became concernedwhen the third partridge and tree arrived, this time accompanied by more dovesand three French hens.
On the fourthday of Christmas a further partridge arrived, this time with four calling birds,a further three French hens and more doves. The gifts were getting out of handand she asked you to stop. She had to pay for somebody to construct an aviaryand a hen house and she was running out of space to plant the pear trees.
The five goldrings which arrived on the fifth day of Christmas were a pleasant change to thebirds that were now arriving. Her neighbours were now complaining about thebird noise.
The six geese that arrived on the sixth daycreated further problems for our client. She was by now getting desperate tostop these unwarranted gifts. Theneighbours complained further and she has now been visited by the council. Theysay that she is running a zoo without permission and the noise of the animalsis a nuisance.
By the time theseven swans arrived (along with all the other items that came each day) ourclient was starting to suffer from nervous exhaustion. She visited her GP who prescribedanti-depressants. She again asked you to stop and made it clear that therelationship between the two of you had come to an end.
The eight maidsa milking that arrived on the eighth day were pleasant enough. It was the cowsthey brought with them that made matters worse. The waste products from thecows and the various birds mean that our client is now being prosecuted forpolluting a water course.
The nine dancingladies when they arrived meant that, with the eight maids milking, the house ishorribly overcrowded and our client is also being prosecuted for this.
Our client is ata loss as to why you thought ten lords (whether leaping or not) was anappropriate present. She sought our advice when you said that you were going tosend her eleven pipers and twelve drummers. The house is now uninhabitable due to all theanimals that have overrun the place. Thefood standards agency is prosecuting her for running a dairy farm illegally andshe is being further prosecuted due to keeping animals inappropriately.
Please note thatany further deliveries would be a breach of the injunction and could lead to asentence of imprisonment.
Yours faithfully
